


Fragments of our love// wolfstar

by unsaltedtoast



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:08:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25688611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaltedtoast/pseuds/unsaltedtoast
Summary: Some Wolfstar one shots I wrote whilst on holiday with my family to stop myself from going mad. They're not amazing and they're very short but nobody'll read this anyways so it's fine. A lot of these are inspired by other peoples prompts or posts and I will credit them where I can in the note. There's no smut, so it's all safe to read where ever. I'll put trigger warnings at the top for different things mentioned.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 21





	1. Remus Fainting After A Full

**Author's Note:**

> TW// fainting, blood mentions, general panic. 
> 
> Written on Monday 27th July 2020.  
> Follows canon story line. 
> 
> Remus passes out after a bad full and Sirius is panicking as they wait for teachers to come and find them. 
> 
> If I'm using this wrong, I'm sorry, I've never used ao3 before :)

"You- You fainted." Sirius held his boyfriend in his arms, cold biting at the pale, exposed skin. "Don't touch that." 

Remus made a desperate attempt to sit up independently. His head pounding, he felt his clothes attaching themselves uncomfortably to his tight chest. "Pads-"

"Hey. Hey, it's okay." He pressed his free hand to Remus' forehead, pushing hair out of the way. He was in a cold sweat, possibly from shock. "Don't- You'll hurt yourself."

"What- what happened?" His eyes were foggy with old tears and his cheeks itched unpleasantly. 

"Hey, stop doing that." He wrapped his arms lightly around Remus' shaking body, as he clawed to sit up by himself, careful not to touch skin. "You had a bad full, and- and we couldn't get back to the shack in time. Madame Pomfrey, she... Madame Pomfrey, she can't find you if you're not there. James... and Peter... they're heading back to school now."

"I..." Shaking, he hovered his hand over his chest and arms. His joints were aching uncomfortably and his bones felt so fragile that if he stood, they would likely break under the pressure. They'd pulled a shirt onto him, as well as a pair of shorts. The cold was nipping at his already burning skin. The clothes were soaked through and stuck slightly to his middle finger as he made contact with them. 

"You'll be fine, Moons, you'll be okay. I'm, I'm here. Madame Pomfrey can heal this sort of stuff in minutes." Sirius' voice was shaking almost as much as Remus' was. "Hey, stop doing that, stop. Don't touch them." 

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yes, yes, we're all fine." 

"James?" 

"Fine." 

"Peter?" 

"Yes, he's with James." He gestured vaguely behind his head, towards the school. 

"Are, are you okay?" 

"Yes, we're all okay." 

"Great, okay." he exhaled heavily, his entire chest felt tight. Sirius' arms tightened slightly, before he pulled back suddenly. 

"Sorry, Merlin, I should... I should watch out." His breath rattled,the cold, rain and worry plaguing his lungs. "The- the wolf cut you up pretty bad last night. I don't know what you did to piss him off, Moons, but for the love of Merlin, please don't do it again." 

"I'll- I'll try, Pads. I can't always help it." 

"I know, I know. I was just- We were just so scared." He pushed his boyfriend up a bit, holding his back with one hand and his other gripping Remus'.

"Hey, I'm-I'm fine. Look," he smiled widely at Sirius' alarmed face, "I'm okay." 

"She's coming!" James and Peter's distinct voices yelled, from up from the hill and past the trees. "Moony, just hang on, she's coming!"

"Sirius, don't hug him so hard!" James shouted as he ran into the clearing, dragging a red-faced Peter by the wrist. "Merlin."

"Boys!" Madame Pomfrey and McGonagall came into view, stopping their run just behind James and Peter, who were staying back from the scene before them. Sirius pulled his hand out of Remus' and blushed slightly. Remus balled his hand into a fist and sighed. "Where is he?" McGonagall asked, rushing to the pair. 

"He's... He's..." Sirius held him up a bit more, touching Remus' flushed cheek. 

"Merlin, okay." McGonagall conjured a stretcher and lifted his bleeding body onto it, with support from Madame Pomfrey. "It's going to be alright, Mr Lupin. Madam Pomfrey can help you." 

They continued to tell him words of reassurance, despite his silence and full trust in the professors at Hogwarts. Even though it was depressing to admit and his friends always insisted in shutting him down every time he so much as thought it, he was always aware that he mightn't come back from a full. There was always a risk that he would die. He'd long accepted that fact and sometimes he wished that if the wolf was going to kill him he would do it soon, yet recently, with his friends by his side, he didn't ever want to leave. He wanted to stay like this forever. His eyes closed a bit as the most wonderful memories filled his mind, if he was going out, he was going out happily. 

***

"Moony?" He opened his eyes. The hospital room came into view. Sirius' face was hung above his at an awkward angle. "Moons?" 

"Pads?" 

"Hey, yeah, I'm here." He exhaled heavily. Remus could feel his breath on his cheek. "Merlin, love, you gave me a heart attack. I thought you weren't ever going to wake up."  
He laughed. "I'm just a heavy sleeper." 

"You can say that again, the students who took a swig of sleeping drought woke up before you. I got really worried but I... when people wake you up you get all, well you get at all..." 

"Sour?" Remus offered. 

"Sour, yes." Sirius laughed a little bit, though he still looked positively shaken. 

Remus sat up, pushing Sirius' face out of the way. "How's James? Peter?" 

"Shocked, but they're alright. They're in potions. I missed it. Pretended that I was sick. Madame Pomfrey didn't believe me for a minute and even if I had looked believable enough, I'm sure she would have figured out that I really wanted to see you." He smiled. Madame Pomfrey always did seem a little bit more soft on their friend group. 

"You really shouldn't do that." Remus grinned back. Across from him, Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I'm serious, you should be in class. Don't miss your education for me, of all people." 

His boyfriend audibly groaned. "I couldn't concentrate anyway. It would be an hour wasted." 

"You're an idiot." He sighed, though he still maintained the smile he had given to Sirius a few seconds ago. 

"Correction- I'm your idiot."


	2. Do I still love him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No TWs//
> 
> Written on Monday 28th July 2020.  
> Remus, Sirius and Tonks live au. 
> 
> Post on Pinterest (Username was pre-cropped sorry)- "You love him/her don't you?" 
> 
> Sirius turns up out of nowhere, and Remus has a conversation with Tonks about his lingering love for him.

"You love him, don't you?" She stood in the kitchen, leaning casually against the counter, despite her heavy tone. That seemed to be her secret talent- being natural yet having plaguing thoughts or difficult conversations. 

"Tonks, I-" His voice faltered, and he worked hard to maintain his calm demeanour. "I'm sorry." 

"It's..." She closed her eyes, and took another sip of her coffee. Trembling hands brought the mug down and set it down beside her hips. "I understand." 

"I- What?" Admittedly, he had not expected her to be so calm after finding his wolf form practically drooling over Sirius, and not in a prey-predator way either. Perhaps a few broken mugs or plates or maybe a sprained wrist. 

"I understand. I'm not happy as such but I understand." She stared him straight in the eyes. The summer sun didn't shine off of her cheeks as he expected it to. Merlin, she was more emotionally strong than he was at the moment. The upcoming full was instilling a level of confidence in the wolf, seeing as Sirius was finally back, after he'd almost lost him again, which caused not anger as usual, but sadness and confusion. 

"Tonks-" Remus began. 

"Just tell me one thing?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Do you love him? Sirius?" 

"It's a bit more complicated than that. It's not something that I can just teach you." 

"Then try..." Still her voice didn't crack, she didn't cry, she didn't even break eye contact. 

"It's been like this since high school. I tried to tell you last year, I tried, I really did. But you brushed it off, I told you that I would get over it and I thought that I could too. But the full after Sirius fell into that veil, Merlin, it was horrible. Leaving and getting him back and then suddenly ripped away from me broke me. The fulls were terrible for a while and the wolf... got used to it, I suppose. But now he's back, after two years, after I've told myself that he's gone, I can't help it. He... the wolf, can't help it. Even if I didn't love Sirius, no matter what I did, I think that the wolf could never stop, ever. When I thought he was a criminal, when I thought he'd murdered my best friends, I loved him, I needed him like I needed air, like I need water, food and shelter. I ached with how hard I missed him. I tried at first to push those thoughts away, to get away from them. 'He murdered my best friends' I would tell myself every night, 'Forget about him, he deserves it.' I told myself all of that and I still couldn't let go. It hurt, burned almost, but I admitted eventually that I wanted him still. 

"And... getting him back. It was the best day of my life, it made everything worth it. I didn't even have the room for anger that year. You know, you've asked me hundreds of times how I forgot about Severus outing me... well, that was why. I knew I was going home to Sirius. I wasn't going home to the sad, pain filled life that I was living before. I was going back to him. The fulls from that week on were heavenly compared to the twelve years previous. Any progress I'd made to move away fell back around me. But I was so... happy. Then..." 

He looked up at her, suddenly aware of the hanging of his head. She gestured that he continued. If she was honest, she felt as though this was all overdue. Of course it hurt, but he needed this. 

"He fell through that fucking veil, hit by his own cousin. I almost died that full. Merlin, the wolf couldn't wait to get revenge, I think he thought it was my fault. As if I was the one who hit him with a fucking stunning spell. And I know you tried to help. I let you. Merlin, I should not have let you. But you kept coming back and coming back, no matter what I said to you or how I fought. It was normalising, I guess. I needed something like that, something secure. I'm an asshole, I know. You had Teddy and then we went to fight in the war. I know that i'm out of practice- nobody wants me on the field anymore. I was so ready to die. So okay with it. I thought, at least Teddy can be without me and-"  
"Remus-" Tonks began, reaching forward slightly. 

He silenced her with his hand before continuing. "Then, I could finally see Sirius again. Stop the fucking wolf from tearing me up every single month. Stop being a burden. Stop everything. And well, Madame Pomfrey, bless her soul, managed to heal me. Now what was I going to do. I sent you to your parents who were more than happy to have you. I told you that there was a full soon, a terrible one. You knew there wasn't but you left anyways. You're great like that. I spent hours alone, pacing, trying to figure out what I could do, until... my doorbell rang. I considered ignoring it but something inside me made me answer. And there he was, Sirius bloody Black, standing at my doorstep. We stared at each other for a few seconds until he said something...

"'Moons' 

"That's all he said for hours. Just my name. It was enough to make me cry. I told him everything. He was pretty pissed for a while, that made sense. I had so much hope for the full though, despite the fact that I would likely be facing it alone again, because of his anger, and yet- he turned up. He wandered in as I was waiting and... and admittedly I was crying. A mix of happiness and sadness. He noticed and comforted me. I've... I've never been happier, never had a better full in my life. He understood. I wondered why he accepted it so quickly. I think he knew that I would come back. I think he knew that I still loved him. 

"I didn't directly tell him. But he knew. And I knew. Because the smell of him is irresistible and he's just so constant and soft. I need him, still. I don't think I'll ever not need him. And I'm so sorry. I did that thing, I pushed him away. According to Harry, he was so insanely hurt by this and I hated those weeks. He was sad and so was I. I think even you knew what was happening deep down, and excuse me if I'm wrong, but I think you tried to keep it that way. I don't blame you, this is all my fault. I let you in when I knew that I hadn't and couldn't move on and for that I'm so sorry. But I... Merlin, I need him. I love him..." 

There were a few seconds of silence where Remus considered running straight out of the back door and never coming back, as he does all too often. Tonks stare stuck him to the tiled floor. 

"You're mad, huh?"

"I'm not mad." Her voice was cold and expecting. 

"You're... You're not? Still?" 

"No, like you said, I think I've known for awhile... I'm actually relieved. You finally said it. It felt worse when you wouldn't just tell me. It made me feel like I was keeping some kind of horrible secret from you." 

"I don't understand why you're not angry, not throwing things, not yelling, not cursing me, nothing. I don't get it?" 

"Listen, listen to me." She took his hands. "I want you to be happy. I want Sirius to be happy. I want Teddy to be happy. I just want all of us to be happy." 

"We can be... can't we?" 

"Yes, of course... I don't want to lose you."

"You won't. I don't want to lose you either. I love you, just not in the way I love Sirius." 

"Go see him. Go tell him. There's a full soon, he'll want to be prepared..." She smiled at his hesitation. "Go be happy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could spend more time on this concept, being a multi-shipper makes this sort of stuff interesting, however, I wrote this in a few hours with breaks and I'm working on a two v e r y long harry potter au's.


	3. Sick days with Moons and Pads.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW// Remus just feels ill, no vomiting or anything. 
> 
> Written on Monday 29th July 2020.  
> Follows canon story line.
> 
> Remus' senses are uncomfortably heightened with the full nearing and Sirius is very concerned for him.

"I'm going up to the dorms." The pillow that was resting in Remus' lap toppled to the floor at his feet. His head was pounding and it physically hurt to bend over and put it back, but he did so to not be a bother. He tucked his book inside of his arm and waved goodnight to his friends. 

"Wait! Are you okay?" One of them had followed him. Not surprising, considering James' inner parent, Peters often overwhelming worry and Sirius'... well he was Sirius. He was his boyfriend. 

"I'm fine." Remus continued walking, not bothering to even focus his mind on figuring out who was practically stepping on his heels. "If you're going to follow me at least stop yelling." 

"Rem-! oh, sorry, I forgot... Are you okay? How's your head?" They continued asking. Remus could barely hear them, despite their lack of space, but assumed that it could only either be James or Sirius by now. Peter didn't ask twice on a full, unless somebody was at risk. 

"It's fine, I'm fine... And you're a dumbass for following me. Nothing’s wrong, I just want to catch some more sleep. That's it." He shrugged. 

"Moons." Remus knew from that one word that it was Sirius who was right behind him, now also walking into their room. Nobody but Sirius called him Moons. Remus recalled lily doing it once but Sirius complained after- 'That's my thing, Evans." They knew it was a joke but they truly never did call Remus Moons from then on. 

"Should have known." His shoulders shook slightly, in a silent laugh. "Sirius, I'm fine." 

"You're not fine. It's too bright and too loud down there, not to mention probably three hundred more things that I can't name. If it was too bright and too loud for me than it definitely was for you, Moons. We're not stupid, you know." 

"I think I know that better than anybody." He recalled his second year, in which all three of his friends came into the dorms, not saying a word and pushed a textbook towards him. He was sitting on his bed but he felt as though he would have fallen over. They were going to leave him. They knew. He waited, they all waited. Seeing as nobody was saying anything, he shut the textbook and turned over in bed. He couldn't stand to look at those photos or their faces, no doubt covered in fear now that their suspicions had been confirmed. 'I guess you hate me now.' Remus had asked, except it wasn't a question, it was a statement. He thought he knew already. 'No, and you're an idiot if you think we do.' James had said, and soon the rest joined in with an agreement- don't keep secrets from each other anymore. 

"We said we wouldn't keep secrets anymore." Sirius' voice was small, he was trying to be considerate. He also recalled second year. He remembered Peter walking up to James and him and just whispering 'Remus is a werewolf.' Obviously they laughed, put their arms around each other's shoulders and headed to class. They never figured out how Peter knew. It bugged Sirius all day. A werewolf? Remus? Remus 'drowns in oversized jumpers and reads classic literature for fun' Lupin? But it wasn't fear that drove the thinking, and if it was, that disappeared quickly. It was concern. What if he died from this and he never told them? He tried to think about potion ingredients, that's boring enough to make his brain melt out of ears in a desperate means of escape. But he swore they had used 'eye of werewolf' in a potion before. His stomach knotted uncomfortably. He had always pictured something inhuman or inhumane enough to deserve it, clearly... he was wrong. He tried to think about his family. They could usually distract him from anything, his hatred was so strong. He might even be able to get out of this classroom, so he could think clearly. He recalled all the horrible things his family members had said to him, the knot in his stomach fell loose again. Until... his uncle, hadn't he recalled him going 'werewolf hunting' before? Hunting?! It wasn't even a full moon then. This changed everything. He hadn't said a word to Remus that entire day and even as they stood at his bedside, an open textbook sitting in front of them, he said nothing. He felt so... sad. He felt sad that Remus had been hurt enough in the past to try and keep this from them. He hated that he went away every month and got hurt so badly and couldn't tell anyone. He wanted to fix everything. But he couldn't. So he stayed quiet. Until, he made them swear something, as a group- don't keep secrets from each other anymore. 

"This is hardly a secret. It happens all of the time, just relax. I'm just going to see if it goes away and if it doesn't then I'll go and see Madame Pomfrey." He shrugged it off, but Sirius knew something was wrong. 'Boyfriend instinct?' Remus wondered. 

"You're not fine. Didn't you have a bad full last time this happened?" 

"Yeah, but, even if it is because of that, now I've got you lot, it won't be so bad. I might just be getting a cold, Pads." Remus shrugged. Winter had set in recently and his immune system wasn't particularly strong, so he got a cold every single year. 

"A cold? Oh..." Sirius seemed hesitant to accept this half-assed answer. "Is there anything I can do?" 

"I'm okay." 

"Oh! I know!" He rushed out the room after giving a very confused Remus a hug. 

Remus sat down on his bed, loosening his tie a bit and pulling on his favourite jumper. It was thick and warm, with soft colours so he could wear it whenever and his eyes wouldn't ever hurt. Features like that were particularly helpful, especially now, with heightened senses and a splitting headache. No sooner had he settled into bed with his favourite book, Sirius walked in, cautiously holding a huge mug of tea. 

"Moons!" He walked up to him, though in spite of his excitement, he had to wonder slowly, as to not spill drops of tea on their bedroom floor. 

"Padfoot? Stop doing that!" James yelled skidding to a halt at the door frame. "Pads, maybe you should just leave him alone for a while. The poor bastards going to die of heatstroke if you put all that on him."   
"He's fine with me, Prongs, don't worry." Sirius brushed him off, placing the mug in Remus' hands. "Stop being the mum for one minute." 

"Sirius, I-" He stopped noticing a suddenly very smile-y Remus. "Hey, you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I told Pads that too but some people don't listen." He side-eyed his boyfriend, who was busy gathering the blankets he had just taken from who-knows-where and pulling up his sheets, but chuckled a little as he did so. 

"Just..." James' eyes followed Sirius around the room. "Just try not to annoy him too much, okay?" 

"Never, I could never." He was now wrapping Remus in said blankets and a Gryffindor scarf (Sirius' Gryffindor scarf, he inhaled the smell of him) and settling in next to him. "He might act like he hates it but he likes the attention really." 

"I'll leave you two lovebirds to it then." James laughed a little. "Evans has a seat on the sofa with my name on it." They both watched him as he left. 

"Do you remember second year?" Sirius asked after a moment. 

"As vividly as if it were yesterday." 

"I was thinking about it earlier..." 

"About second year? Why? I mean we've done far more interesting things since then." 

"I was thinking about you, you prat. Thinking about how we mightn't have had things like this. How you wouldn't have let yourself do things like this if you hadn't told us. I mean, it was a hell of a task to ask you out when we knew, nevermind if you still had something like that hanging over your head." 

"Dear, I think you've thought about this more than I have. Not that I haven't thought of it, but you seem to... you seem to get more caught up on it than I do." 

"I guess I'm just scared of losing you." Sirius smiled. 

"Can we dim the lights a little bit?" Remus rubbed his temple a little bit. 

"Yes, of course." He got up to switch off the lights. 

"Why do you just do stuff for me?" He was laughing a little. He didn't think he deserved it. 

"It's because I love you, dumbass." 

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love concerned Sirius and slight mother James :))


	4. 'The' Prank.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No major TW's. 
> 
> Written on Wednesday 29th July 2020.  
> Follows canon story line. 
> 
> Sirius reflects on after 'the' prank and has a little meeting with McGonagall.

Sirius washed, dressed and brushed his teeth in an effort to feel normal again. How had he managed to mess everything up so quickly. One night. One sentence. He thought that if he were to ever say anything evil, the world would stop and he would have some sort of epiphany. It wasn't like that at all. He just sort of... said it, in the spur of the moment. 

"The knot, that's all, press it and you're in Snivellus." Those words played over and over and over again in his head. He lost sleep over it, feeling as if those words were burned into the backs of his eyelids. He deserved it. He spent night after night staring at Remus' back. He knew he wasn't sleeping either. He could tell- Remus was a terribly loud sleeper and a constantly moving one too, unless he had a reason not to be. It took every ounce of effort to stay in his bed every night. 

He walked out of the bathroom, hair still slightly damp. Remus wasn't there. He was either with Lily or Peter. 

James wasn't ignoring either of them but Sirius could do without his endless, passionate rants and telling-offs. He would rather face McGonagall. He had faced McGonagall plenty of times. 

Lily was far too talented at charms and hexes to risk talking to her. She loved Remus on a level only rivaled by James- they were like his parents. 

Peter hated their arguments and usually went with the side that wouldn't ask too much. Considering that Sirius was irrational and would not shut up, whereas Remus gave everybody the silent treatment and practically lived in his own head 24/7, Peter would likely have hauled himself up in the library with a book about physics or something, keeping Remus company. 

They couldn't be in the same room unless they were sleeping. 

Sirius was heading to McGonagall's office right then. The walk seemed so insanely long and he actually felt relieved when he knocked on the door. 

"Enter." Her cold voice came. "Ah, Sirius Black, sit please."

"Okay," he sat down opposite her, "I'm sitting."

"Thank you. I'd like to talk about your behaviour lately." She placed her hands into one another on her organised desk. "Now, I know that you've never been particularly well behaved, but recently, you've been in detention every single night. In fact, you should have been at one this afternoon, and... according to Professor Binns, you didn't turn up. When he asked you about this you said, excuse my language, 'I don't give a shit anymore.' Do you deny this?" 

"No, I don't and I think I made my opinion pretty clear to Binns." 

"Professor Binns, Mister Black. You don't deny it?" 

"No." 

"And you realise how serious this is?" 

"Yes." 

"So... why?" She sounded tired almost. Sirius couldn't decide whether she was mad or disappointed. 

"I think I made myself quite clear- and pardon my french, Professor- I don' t give a shit." 

"Mister Black! Please mind your language while in my office. I'm not here to villianise you, Sirius. I'm not even here to talk sense into you. I think you're getting quite enough of that from James Potter if I'm not incorrect. I want to help you. I want to understand what's wrong." 

"No offense, but you can't help." Sirius felt bitter. 

"Sirius, I know you may not understand or believe it, but I do care about you. It must be difficult to understand but I care about you and I want you to get past this." 

"I appreciate it, I really do but I don't deserve to get past this Professor." 

"And why would you say that?" She was upset, it was radiating from her. 

"I was the one who..." he considered lying. Losing another person who could support him through this was going to hurt but Snape would tell her as soon as he could anyway. "I was the one who sent Severus Snape into the Willow." 

She was quiet for a moment and he saw her swallow. "Yes, I'm aware." 

"I'm- Wait, what?" 

"Remus Lupin came to my office and he asked... well lets just say that he's the reason we're doing this." 

"What did he say? Does he hate me?" 

"No, in fact, quite the opposite. He's just working through a difficult time right now and doesn't feel ready to face you quite yet. He's worried about you. He didn't want you to tear yourself apart during this time. Asked me to help out."

"He did?" 

He waited a few weeks for Remus. With the slight help of Professor McGonagall, he had managed to get away from the endless nights of detentions. He waited until Remus came to him. 

"Hello, Sirius." His voice was so normal and quiet that he had to make sure that he'd actually said anything.

"Hi, Remus. Listen-" 

"No, no. I don't want you to apologise, you've done that enough and though I haven't responded, I was listening. Are you okay?"

"Yes, but more importantly, are you okay?" 

"I am." 

"Thank you." 

"For what?"

"For everything." 

They weren't okay automatically but Sirius hung on. Remus hung on. They knew they would be okay. They would be alright. 

And they were right.


	5. Some Wounds Don't Heal Quickly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday 30th July.   
> ((Inspo: those filler anime episodes, I wanted a wolfstar version lmao))   
> Somewhat canon storyline: Diverts in the way that Remus and Sirius live together pre-war. 
> 
> Sirius takes a cake out of the oven but something is horribly wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Abuse mentions (Hurt/Comfort)

"Did- Sirius, did you just take that out without gloves?" Remus was watching his boyfriend practically throwing their cake into the bench. 

"Urm- yes, I'm beginning to regret it. My hands are tingling." Sirius was staring at his own hands. 

"Merlin. Okay, here." Grabbing his hands softly, Remus brought him over to his sink. "Keep your hands under the water for a while okay, I'll find some bandages or something." He quickly turned on the tap, blasting freezing cold water over Sirius' hands, who flinched a little bit. 

"It's not that bad, Moons. I'll walk it off." He attempted to pull his hands out of the way of the stream. 

Remus grabbed his hands and held them under the tap by his wrist. "No way, keep your hands under there." Had his boyfriend lost his fucking mind? 

"It's okay, it's- okay, alright, fucking hell Moons, I can't get any further into the water, stop grabbing my wrist so tight." He pulled his hands away a little, but not enough to remove himself from Remus' grip. 

"Why did you take that out with no gloves?" He, if not before, was convinced that Sirius was insane.

"You're going to get mad at me..." 

"Why would I be mad at you?" Sirius drew back a little bit. "Is it getting any better?"

"It's numbing a little. Fuck- I'm sorry, Moons." He closed his eyes, Remus couldn't tell if he was just hurt or if he was afraid of telling him why he did that. "My mother- she never let me use the gloves, I forgot that using them is allowed. I'm sorry." 

Remus' face dropped a little bit. Why had he never heard of this? "Your mum didn't let you use oven gloves... Wh-" He wanted to ask why, wanted to find Sirius' mum and slap her for being such a bitch to such an amazing person. He decided against this. "Why didn't Kreacher just do the cooking? I thought he practically lost his mind if he didn't cook for your mum?"

"She- It's a family tradition to cook together and host a party once a year. It was a glamour thing and a show of... Well, it was to show that you didn't rely on house elves, on help. You know, having somebody work for you is high profile but leaning on them is shameful. Me and Regulus used to help her. Reg' always got- he always got the easier jobs- you know, clean the dishes, mix the veg', that sort of stuff. She did make us do the more difficult stuff sometimes though and considering that she hated me most, it was just something else she could do to abuse me, I guess. Nobody noticed, obviously. Though if they did, they wouldn't have said anything. It's good to punish children, they would have said." He laughed coldly at this. "Yeah taking out dishes with your bare hands, torture curses and screaming fits are definitely appropriate ways to parent a child." Sirius mistook Remus' look of disgust and anger at his family for disgust and anger towards him. "I'm sorry. I know I should have grown out of it by now and it's really stupid but I-"

"It's not that easy." 

"I- What?" 

"It's not that easy to grow out of that sort of stuff. I understand. Let me just-" He pulled out his wand and pointed it at Sirius' palm. He pulled his hands away. "Hey, love, it's okay, it's okay." He dropped his wand and put his hands up by his own face to show that he wasn't going to do anything unless Sirius asked. 

"I'm so fucking sorry, Moons." A single tear fell down his cheek as he pushed his hands back under the water. "I'm so sorry." 

"You don't need to apologise for anything, Pads. It's fine. You're fine." He paused, wiping the tear from his boyfriend's cheek. "All I'm going to do is put some bandages on it, that's all. I'll do that and then put the wand away, okay?" 

Sirius nodded. 

"Ferula." Bandages wrapped around Sirius' hands individually and he sighed. "There. Does that feel a bit better?" 

"Thank you, babe." He looked once at his hands then beamed at Remus. 

"Just promise me one thing? Let me take out the cake next time, please."


	6. A Black family tradition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW// short argument and abuse 
> 
> Friday 31st July. 
> 
> ((Prompt: a post on pinterest))
> 
> Canon storyline.

"I don't want it." Sirius was shoving a ring into a drawer beside his bed. "I don't even want to look at it." 

"What's wrong with it?" James was sitting on his own bed, attempting to read a textbook. By attempting to read, he was burying his face inside of the pages every two seconds and somehow hoping that it would absorb into his brain. "Is it cursed or something?" 

"No, it's my mothers... or it was." He attempted to cast a locking spell on the drawer. It didn't work. "Piece of shit." Kicking the bottom of the furniture, he sighed. 

"How-" James questioned whether he should ask or not. He always felt like he made everything worse. The lack of relatability was jarring. "Why did she give it to you?" He felt this was a safe bet, or at least safer than his alternative- 'Why is it so bad?' He didn't fancy his chances of surviving a pissed off Sirius Black. 

"I came of age my last birthday. The stupid owl delivered unexpected birthday presents, if you could call it that. That fucking ring and a letter. A letter, it was so short, I would call it a note. It was in my mother's handwriting, I could tell. Well you can guess the sort of things that she said...'' He gave James a moment to think, who felt so much rage already bubbling in his heart. "'We don't want to give it to you, we would much rather give it to Regulus, but as you are of age, you have a right to this family tradition. Enclosed is the Black family ring. It is yours. Do not break it.' She didn't even sign it. She didn't need to. I could tell that the same hand that wrote than had hit me raw with that fucking ring on its finger. I have the scars to prove it. Like I want it." He scoffed, but his voice was filled with bitter sadness. "I tried to give it to Regulus. The stupid twat didn't want it. Said that I needed to respect tradition. He's scared of her. He's scared of fighting against her. So, now I have it. You're fucking mad if you think that i'm going to wear it. Parading around like my family with that on as if it's anything but metal and empty power. Disgusting- all of them. Can't wait to leave. Merlin, just a few more years." He flopped down onto his bed. 

"Hey, I was going to ask you later, in Hogsmeade. It was going to be a whole thing. Me and Remus planned it all out but it wasn't that smart anyway and I can't keep it from you any longer." He threw down the book and reached over into his bedside drawer. He drew out a letter, neatly folded as if he'd just received it. "Happy Birthday from my parents, Padfoot." 

Sirius took the parchment and his heart filled again. He loved James' parents. They felt like home. Like how home should actually be. He was afraid to open it and read. What would they say to him? 

'Dear Sirius Black, 

We are reaching out to you to ask you something. Of course, you can say no, however we would like to try.

We love you like our son. And we understand that you feel the same way towards us. Well, we should just jump into it shouldn't we? 

Would you, Sirius, like to move in and become part of our family? 

Unfortunately, this cannot ever be fully official because, well you know your parents well enough to guess how they would react to actual adoption, but we have our arms and hearts open to you, as our son. We can't stand to watch you come to our house , bruised and bleeding with nobody to help. 

Please write back, dear. 

Mr and Mrs Potter xx.' 

Sirius read the letter about 7 times before realising that the words were blurred with tears. 

"Merlin, I'm going to have to sadly write back refusing to my mum and dad, aren't I?" James took the parchment from his hands, stopping the crushing motion that Sirius was performing. 

"Prongs... Of course, I'll go. Merlin, your parents could offer me a card board box to sleep in your fucking living room and I would say yes." Suddenly forgetting about the stupid Black family ring, he hopped over his bed and wrapped his arms around James' neck. 

'Who cares about the ring?' He may be a Black by blood but he was a Potter in every other way. The best thing is, they thought the same. 

"Hey, you're getting your tears on my shirt, you prat." Sirius tried to pull away but James' arms had wrapped around him too. 

"Maybe summer won't be so shit this year." He laughed a bit. 

The dorm door opened. Remus walked in, carrying about 7 books in his arms and shaking rain out of his hair. "Hey, guys-" His eyes set on them. "What's wrong?" 

They turned, and pulled their arms away. James passed him the letter. Sirius and him both said nothing. Remus read the note, rapidly re-reading it, happiness filling his heart. "Pads, Merlin! This is wonderful! Oh my God, congratulations!" Sirius had practically jumped onto Remus, his hands around his neck, allowed Remus to catch and lift him. He kissed his forehead. 

"Moons!" 

He can't recall a better memory.

*** 

Throwing stuff mindlessly into suitcases, Sirius was beaming. He was on his way to the Potters home. Not 12 Grimmauld Place. Home. He pulled out drawers and pushed stuff from shelves, making sure that he had everything. 'One final drawer' he thought, reaching blankly into the box and feeling around. 'It's empty?' It couldn't be. He knew he'd left this until last. Then he touched it. 

The ring. Remus had put a locking charm on that drawer the day they found out that Sirius wouldn't be going back to his 'family' and they'd all forgotten about it. But seeing as they were leaving for the summer holidays, they couldn't leave anything behind. He didn't want it. 

Or maybe he did. Not that he was going to miss his family but he was a Black by blood. The ring meant something. He slipped it onto his finger. It did look good, contrasting his warm, pale skin with the cold, black metal. 

He kept it on. He knew who he was. He was a Potter. He was a Black. He was Sirius. 

***

They were in Hogsmeade. It was snowy and they were all wrapped in Gryffindor scarves, warming their cheeks and leaving their foreheads feeling positively neglected, being left to be bitten by the frost. 

Sirius was still wearing the ring. He'd almost forgotten about it but the cold was making it burn against his numb skin. He didn't take it off. He liked having some sort of control against his family, he supposed. 

They dipped into 'The Hogs Head' and drank some hot butterbeers together. Padfoot, Moony, Prongs and Wormtail. Together. It was more warming than their drinks. Sirius swore that the day couldn't ever be ruined. 

Until, he saw somebody down the street. 

They were walking together. James and Peter walked slightly ahead, chatting loudly about their recent work. He and Remus were walking more slowly, hand in hand, due to Remus' general distrust of running in the snow and sensitivity to cold. It was nice. Calm. Quiet. Perfect. Almost... 

Walburga Black was standing at the window of the stationary shop, admiring the quills. 

"Why is she here?" he whispered. He felt the ring burning on his finger. Was he insane? Why had be been wearing that fucking ring for so long? He wanted nothing more than to take it off. 

Ripping the band from his hand, he threw it violently into the snow below him. He wanted to stand on it, to stomp it into the ground so hard that it stuck into the concrete and could never come out. He didn't manage that. Settling for a hefty kick and a yell, he stormed back to Hogwarts, never looking back. 

Remus bent over, noticing up what was wrong quicker than the other two, who were rather stupidly yelling after Sirius, and pocketed the ring. It hadn't been damaged. Sirius was strong but the ring had clearly been through worse. It still stood as strong as it was when slotted onto Sirius' hand. 

Remus watched Sirius' mum at the window as he passed, letting his eyes drift down to her hand. She had at least one ring on every finger. He couldn't even imagine being hit with that hand. His fist clenched around their family heirloom that lay in his pocket. Taking some comfort in the fact that she would have lost her mind if she knew that her sons gay, half blood, werewolf boyfriend was holding that bloody ring, he dragged himself away from her, taking note of the heafty price point on the quill that had clearly caught her eye. 

***

"You fucking kept it?!" Sirius bomb-barded Remus as soon as he walked into their room. 

"What?" He dumped his books down on his desk and noted the open drawer. "Sirius, I-"

"You fucking kept it? What, do you want it? You think it's cool? You think it's powerful? What is it Remus? Why would you keep this?" Sirius stood from Remus' bed and threw the ring to the floor. 

"No! Pa-Sirius, I don't want it, I-" He tried to explain. Sirius looked practically manic. 

"I don't want to hear it, Remus!" Pulling off his jacket and throwing it onto his bed, he walked out of their room. "Forget it!" 

"Sirius, love, please! Just listen to me! I only kept it because I knew you would want it one day!" But he was already gone. 

***

He regretted shouting at Remus the next day. His pride was far too high to tell him, at least that quickly. 

As always, Remus was right. Sirius did want it in the end. He didn't know why. But he wanted it. After all, it was important. 

He didn't put it back on. That drawer was waiting for the ring again. And there it stayed. Remus put the charm back on with no hesitation. 

***

He was back at home. His mother was shouting at him. 

That was normal. He screamed back, not afraid to give her a piece of his mind. After all he wasn't a little kid anymore. 

After a few minutes of yelling, she started saying things he's never heard her say. It threw Sirius off. He'd never told her those things.

"How dare you call them your parents! You should be wearing your surname like a medal! James Potter? Is that what he's called? The Potter family? All filthy blood traitors and you call them your family! Horrible people all of them!" 

"They're not horrible! They love me, unlike some people I know!" He retorted. 

"You hid that ring into a drawer and threw it into the snow, how could you! I should have given it to your brother! He would have worn it with pride!" 

"I offered it to the little prat and he said no! He doesn't want it either!"

"Not to mention that half-blood monster you hold hands with! My son! Gay! Dating a blood traitor! And a werewolf at that! The only thing they're useful for is a good hunt! Last thing I heard he's dirt poor, too. I expected nothing better of you! Dating only the scum of the Earth! The only person who will date you is somebody who's unloveable themselves! Ha!" She carefully coated her words in poison, a thing that she'd managed to do successfully every single time. 

"Shut up! Shut up!" He could practically feel his rage in his fingertips. He just wanted her to stop talking. He wanted to leave. 

Soon, she was shooting torture curses, left and right, some barely skimming his side or head, most hitting him where it hurt most. But the worst thing was that the physical hitting started. It hurt most as he could hear her breathing and the words she mumbled under her breath. He could feel the usual metal, the usual sting, yet there was something wrong. 

She had the ring. She had the ring and she was hitting him with it. Every touch burned like a thousand fires, scarring his skin. As she hit more and more, leaving more and more scars, she was getting more and more powerful. He was screaming. He could see Regulus in the corner of his eye. Regulus was shaking all over, crying, feeling so helpless. He couldn't move. 

"Pads, love, please!" Remus was choking on tears, shaking Sirius lightly. "Dear, please, it's just a nightmare! You're okay, here, wake up." Sirius opened his eyes and sat up, rubbing his eyes. His face was damp- were they tears or sweat. Either way, he scrambled to rub his face dry on his bedsheets. 

"Moons!" he couldn't stop crying. 

"I'm here, Pads, I'm here." He crawled into his bed and held Sirius close. He sobbed freely into his shoulder. "It's okay. It was just a nightmare." 

"That was so scary, Moons. I thought I was back home. Merlin, she says some horr- terrible things." Finally regaining his breath, words fumbled from his lips. He said everything from explaining the dream to apologising rapidly for any mistakes he's ever made. 

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay." Remus didn't interrupt him or talk over him. He waited patiently for him to finish and then held him close. He ran his fingers through Sirius' hair. That relaxed him more than anything else in the world. Nobody could do it like Remus could, in fact, Sirius didn't let anybody else touch his hair. Remus laughed about this from time to time but he secretly loved this. Sirius' hair was his favourite thing ever. 

"Remus, Moons, I want you to have something." He reached into a drawer. The drawer. He pulled out the ring and slipped it onto Remus' finger. He laughed a little bit, through tears. "It looks better on you." 

"Sirius-" 

Sirius kissed the ring on Remus' finger, felt his skin and the cold metal against his lips, he longed for this feeling,hoping he could feel that every day until he died. Remus felt his soft smile against his hand. "I want you to keep it." 

"Why?" Both Remus and Sirius thought that Sirius would never touch that ring again. Sirius told himself that he wouldn't want to see anybody else with it on: that it was evil and he wouldn't want to contaminate anybody else with the darkness of his family. But it was different when Remus wore it. It made him feel safe. Protected. 

"Because I know that if it's on you... it won't ever hurt me again."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday 1st August
> 
> I remember writing this at about 2am because I couldn't sleep so please don't lay into me too much if this sucks lmao :))
> 
> Au: Tonks lives, Remus dies.

Remus Lupin knew that the boy in front of him was a Black before he even introduced himself. He could practically smell it on him. He smelt like expensive cologne and fine wine, despite being an eleven year old child. 

He knew in little ways like how his hair sat and how clean cut everything seemed to be. He knew by his accent and by the way he shook his hand and bowed a little, from habit. He knew by the way he reacted to little things like James Potter's first attempt at a high five. He was everything Remus wasn't, he supposed. He shook his hand firmly and smiled until he left him alone. That would never work... 

So why was he falling in love with him? Why was he falling in love with the boy with long black hair, who throws him notes in class and smiled slightly crookedly through perfect teeth? Why was he falling in love with the boy who sang far too loud in the shower and folded pages of school books with no second thought? Why was he falling in love with the boy who could never take him home because the 'they would eat you for dinner' joke would be too uncomfortably close to the truth? Why was he falling in love with the boy who was nothing like him? The boy who could never like him no matter how hard he wished. 

He laughed as he thought this. 'Wished upon a star huh?' He thought. Sirius, the star constellation. Sirius, the boy who sat next to him in charms and almost set the great hall on fire in an attempt to make him smile. 

***

"Moony!" There he was again. Remus had accepted his general presence by then and admitted to himself that if there wasn't a horrible knot in his stomach every time he talked to Sirius, he would spend every breathing moment with him. 

"Sirius!" Of course, he would never tell Sirius that. "That's never going to stick."

"Come on, Moons, it's not that bad." He smiled. 

"Easy for you to say,you chose your own name." They had given each other nicknames and the rejected options were beyond tragic. He decided he would settle for Moony, and if Sirius kept calling him 'Moons'... Well that was just an added bonus.

***

"Don't!" Remus had his hand in front of his face. Sirius was attempting to take a photo of him. 

"I need to capture the moment, Moons." He snapped another photo. 

"I'm not even doing anything, I'm just reading."   
"Ugh, fine." Sirius dropped his camera onto the common room table and slouched next to Remus. "Don't you think it's funny that you're the moon and I'm the stars?" 

Remus didn't think this was very funny at all actually. He'd spend far too many nights daydreaming about that sort of cheesy stuff that he knew he could never have and didn't fancy hearing Sirius' reaction to it. After a few seconds, he replied "I've noticed." 

"Maybe we're like... Soulmates or something." 

"How can we be soulmates? Don't you think that some sign would have been beamed down to us if we were? Maybe Merlin visits you in your dreams or something, you know?" Remus closed the book he had in his hands and placed it in his lap. 

Sirius looked utterly heartbroken. "So... You don't think we're soulmates?" 

"I don't think I've got a soulmate if they do exist, Pads. And you can certainly do better than me. I mean, girls are practically attaching themselves to you, surely you can date one of those? Somebody pure blood, somebody who isn't a male and somebody who isn't a werewolf is waiting patiently for you to take them in your arms and swept them away to a romantic paradise... Or something like that." 

"But I want you." 

"..." 

***

He knew he was a Black before he even introduced himself. So how did he not remind himself that he was destined to be hurt by this person? He'd been so caught up in a fucking highschool relationship, that he had forgotten all about his family. It's funny. He never would have thought, considering how desperate he seemed to disconnect fully from his family. But yet, he wasn't laughing into the air around him that night. 

He was crying onto a small writing desk, an empty bottle next to him. 

Merlin, he was so stupid. 

"I'll never let this happen again." 

*** 

There he was... The black haired boy who used to throw notes at him and fold the corners of books. He was there. He was older but then... So was Remus. But, he was still wonderful. 

It felt good to be with him again, even if the situation was... Odd. It felt good to feel his hair and to inhale the smell of him. 

God he'd missed it. He missed it so much he thought it would kill him. 

*** 

It felt like it did last time... 

Their relationship. 

Both of them had hoped, had wished, that they could slip back into that. Into holding hands behind closed doors and wearing each other's clothes. 

Yet, everything was so different. 

It almost didn't matter. 

The moon and the stars had each other again. 

***

He screamed and cried like a baby that night. 

They fought and ran and ducked and saved. They said goodbye. They went their separate ways. 

He got home. He cried and screamed and asked nobody in particular for help. He didn't want to say goodbye. Why had he gone a different way? 

Did he not deserve him? Was that why? Or was it 'fate'? What was it? Why did everything have to hurt? 

He fell asleep on the kitchen floor that night... And a few nights after that. He hadn't eaten or changed clothes or showered for far too long. He knew this. But there was no point anymore. 

Three knocks on his door. 

"You missed the Order meeting again. Figured I'd come and check on you." 

*** 

He was doing it again... But was he really? He wasn't sure how he felt. 

Tonks was lovely, of course, and he loved her but she wasn't Sirius lovely. Nobody could be Sirius lovely. 

He almost stopped going into the Order a couple of times. He wanted everybody to stop. He felt like he couldn't escape them. They always seemed to be there. He was sick of it , sick of people making him the fucking villain, and, so, one day... 

He said yes. 

*** 

He didn't cry when he died. Nothing. 

In fact, he smiled. He actually smiled.

He didn't expect to live past then anyways. Ever since he was a kid, he's been waiting for that day. Just recent years felt so painful that that day didn't even seem sad anymore.

Tonks lived. He knew she would. She was talented and smart and strong. He didn't look back, didn't try to fight against death, because he knew she would be a wonderful mother. He knew she didn't need him. It would hurt but she would grow from it. 

"Moons?" Sirius?

"Pads!" Remus. 

"Moons!" Sirius. 

"I missed you so much. Everything just hurt so badly." He ached and longed so badly to fall to his knees right there and just talk to him for hours, cry with him for hours. He kept his composure. 

"I know, I know. But it's okay. We're together again, love. I've got you." Sirius slipped his hand into Remus'. 

And the moon and the stars had each other again. 

Forever.


	8. Collage courses and library workers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday 1st August, but it's not 2am.
> 
> It was a full moon tonight btw.
> 
> ((Prompt: me saying "Where the fuckidy fuck is my book?" to myself late last night.))
> 
> Au: part time librarian/student Remus and student Sirius.

"Where the fuckidy fuck is this book?" He ran his fingers over the spines of the books lining the shelves. 

"Excuse me sir?" A voice behind him called. 

"Yes?" He turned, meeting eyes with the librarian. The librarian stood with one arm crossed over his chest, drowning in an oversized jumper, despite the warm weather outside.

"You can't swear in the library." he busied himself, putting a few discarded books back into their places. His face lit up as they slotted in the spaces perfectly. 

"And why can't I do that? There's no sign or anything." 

"Perhaps not, however," He raised his eyebrows and waited for his name. 

"Sirius Black." 

"Mr Black, there is a sign clearly stating that there is a childrens event on. Swearing is hardly appropriate in the presence of children is it?" He had to stop himself from smiling. The librarian, who was no older than he was, managed to pull off acting like a professor. It was oddly charming. 

"I suppose not." Sirius lent in and read the makeshift badge that the worker wore. "Remus? Huh, nice name." 

"Thank you. Now sir, if you could tone down the swearing, I can offer to help you find whatever book you were looking for. If not, I can assist you to the door." Remus smiled at him. 

"Okay, okay. I'll stop swearing." 

"Perfect. What book are you looking for, Mr Black?" 

"An art book. 'Studying human anatomy'- revieting, I know. You heard of it, Mr English-degree?" 

"How-how do you know about that?" Remus was, in fact, studying for an english degree. He did not appreciate the tone, though. 

"First of all, I'm a Black. We know everything and everybody inside and out." Sirius smiled at the slight worry on Remus' face. "Don't worry. I hate them too. Annoying fuckers, my family are... And secondly, I go to the same uni' as you. We live in the same building." 

He chose to ignore the swearing. "Ah, you're art Sirius Black, aren't you?" Sirius' name travelled through school like the common cold. The general gist was he drew on anything and everything, and rarely followed the curriculum. 

"You've heard of me, have you?" He took such pride in this fact. Something about Remus knowing him made his heart fly. 

"Yes, in fact I have. Thanks to my chatty room-mate, really. I don't take much notice of the rumours. They're always the same." He pulled a book from the shelf and admired its cover. 

"Who do you room with?" 

"Peter Pettigrew- maths manic. Can't go a day without the floor being covered in equations. Not exactly inconvenient though. I suck at maths- he helps a lot with that." He didn't put the book back. "You? What poor bastard has to deal with you?" Being particularly dramatic, he laughed with Sirius a little bit. 

"James Potter- getting a criminology degree. Mad about stuff like that." 

"Does he want to be a police officer?" 

"Not particularly. He says he wants to be a private investigator but really he's just studying it because he's a dork." Sirius removed his hovering hand from the shelf and stood right in front of Remus. 

"Wh-" 

"I believe you offered to find my book if I stopped swearing. I haven't swore," Remus held his tongue," and though I love talking to you, Remus, I do have homework to do so I really need to hurry." 

"Oh, yeah, the book. Follow me." They began walking. "I never come to this side of the library, you know." 

"Yeah, you don't hit me as a 'learn to draw' sort of guy. You like, what is it?" Sirius lent down a little. "'To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.'" He made a noise of vague approval. "Is it any good?" 

"I think it is. You should be able to get through it, it's not too long." He handed him the copy he was holding and allowed him to push through the pages. "It's good. Talks about racism and stuff like that. Your family should read it, they might learn something about injustice... Sorry, that was not needed, I apologise." 

"No, no. Anybody who hates my family is a friend of mine."

"A friend?" 

"You don't want to be?" 

"Of course I do." 

"Well then," Sirius took Remus' hand and pulled a pen from a pot on the front desk, "call me." He wrote his phone number onto the back of his hand. 

"I...I will. Thank you." Admittedly, he felt rather flustered. "Now... to find that book." 

*** 

"Hello, is this Sirius Black?" He called the number that night. It was quite late but he didn't get off of work until 6pm, he stayed to clean for about 30 minutes, closed, studied, helped Peter get dressed for a date and then ate. 

"Remus?"

"Okay, so not Sirius Black." He mumbled. The voice was far too femine.... and familiar. 

"Is this Remus Lupin?" 

"Yes? Who is this?" 

"You twat, it's Lily." 

"Lily! Where is Sirius? Do you know him?" 

"Yes, I'm dating his fucking roomate, dumbass. Whatever- he's out, taking a drive on his bike. Just me and James here right now." 

"God, he really should have taken his phone. What if he gets hurt?" 

"Remus, believe me, I tried to tell him." 

"Okay, well it was worth a shot. I'll phone back later." He went to hang up. 

"Wait!" Lily's voice echoed through the speakers. 

"What?" 

"How do you know Sirius? He's never mentioned you. You've never mentioned him, either. How did you get his number?" 

"He gave it to me... At the library... Earlier today. Just thought I'd... I don't know, give it a try. It was stupid really. I mean... me and Sirius Black? Friends?" It seemed utterly stupid now that he had actually phoned him. 

"I think he feels the opposite way. He's never shut up about you." Lily laughed a little bit. 

"Don't tell him that I called, yeah?" The fact that Sirius was actually interested in him plagued his mind for many hours after he and Lily stopped talking. 

*** 

"Hey, Moons. How come you never called me?" Sirius walked into the library, that art book shoved under his arm. He was wearing a new jacket. Remus smiled despite himself- he looked good. 

"Moons?" Nobody had ever called him by a nickname, nevermind one as weird as 'Moons'. 

"Yeah, it's cute. Because I only see you once in a full moon." 

"Oh..." He pondered over this for a moment. "To answer your previous question, I've been busy." This was a blatant lie. 

"Busy?" He raised one eyebrow. 

"Busy." Remus walked behind the desk and reached out for the book. "Returning?" 

"Hey, wait, we were having a conversation." He reluctantly handed over the book. 

"And I'm trying to keep my job. Returning or renewing?" He scanned the book back onto the system. 

"Returning." 

"Good because this is about two weeks overdue." He pushed a few buttons and smiled back up at Sirius. "That's going to be £3.50, thanks." 

"Wait! What?" Sirius looked at Remus like he had just hit him across the face. 

"It's overdue?" 

"Yes, you know that. You just said it was two weeks late."

"Exactly. You need to pay." Remus flipped the book over in his hand a few times. He would have thought this was common sense. Sirius still looked gob-smacked. "Listen, you came and got this book a month ago, give a take a few days. This was due in two weeks after that. On that day, you could have renewed it, so you could have kept it longer, or you could have returned it. You did neither. This book is, therefore, overdue. Unfortunately for you, it is a school-required book which means that it costs more if it's overdue. So, if you don't mind, I'll take that £3.50." 

He sighed and reached into his pocket, producing a wallet. "Do you at least take card?" 

"No, the chip and pin machine broke a while ago and we are severely underfunded so we never bought a new one." Sirius groaned, pushing his card back into its slot. "I know, it's very annoying for us too." 

"God, this is why people just download the books online." 

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience. If you're that angry, feel free to go and leave a one-star review." He checked himself. "Don't let my boss hear that." He laughed. Sirius seemed a little bit less moody as he pulled open the velcroed part of his wallet. It was practically bursting with money. "Holy shit." Remus whispered. 

"Lord, this is embarrassing." He fumbled for a £10 note and closed his wallet, shoving it deep into his pocket. 

"No, I just-" 

"Keep the change. Urm, put it to good use- buy yourself a new card machine." 

"I know it's not my business, but I can't help but be curious. Why do you carry all of that money on you? Are you afraid of being robbed or something?" 

"I don't usually carry around this much." He smiled a bit at Remus, who wandered out from behind the desk. 

"Ah, what's the special ocassion?" He grabbed a pile of books and began slotting them into the correct places. Sirius trailed after him. 

"I was hoping to take somebody on a date but they seem to be... as he said... busy." 

"He?" 

"Problem?" 

"No, urm, I'm gay myself... well bi technically but who's looking at the details really?" He was getting through the stack of books quickly now that he was nervous. 

"Wonderful news for me- men. Men." Sirius blushed a little bit. He was making a fool of himself. 

"Mhhm." Remus raised his eyebrows at him. "You think that men are lucky to date me, huh?" 

"Yeah, I mean- You know what? Forget it."

"Don't worry, don't worry." He gestured to Sirius, showing him up the staff stairs. "I need to put back a special book- one of my co-workers has the memory of a goldfish and brings the special books down there to read. She never puts them back- just throws them on the trolley and forgets about them." 

"Why are they special?" 

"They're signed. Or written in. Of course, we can't leave those out because they'll get stolen and like I said before, we're broke, so we can't really risk things like this being taken." He put the book back onto the shelf. "Like this," Remus pulled a different book down, "look." It was an art book, drawn and noted all over. 

"Hey, that's so cool! Can I?" Remus placed the book in his outstretched hand. He flipped through the pages, open mouthed. "They really know what they're talking about!"

"You can borrow it if you want. You do have to pay for it and if you don't get it back in on time, I will have to hunt you down and take it from you with force." He was being dramatic obviously. 

"Maybe I'll keep it for a few days over the due date then?" Sirius laughed, handing it back to Remus. "I won't risk it. James is the messiest room mate I've ever had. Never grew out of that teenage boy 'I don't want to ever tidy my room so everything just gets shoved in semi-neat piles' phase."

"Well, the offer’s always there." Remus shrugged, pushing the book back into its place.

"Which one? The book or hunting me down and stealing my things using force?" 

"Whichever you prefer, I suppose." Sirius smirked at Remus, who dragged him back out of the room. "Lord, what are you doing to me?" 

"Something good I hope." 

Desparte to change the conversation, Remus moved on. "What are you doing now?" 

"What?" 

"Well, it sounded like your date just dumped you and you were all dressed up too. New, lovely jacket and all." He pulled at Sirius' jacket. 

"You think my jacket's nice?" Sirius smiled. That was, in fact, the plan. 

"Yes, I do. Not really my style but it looks amazing on you." He processed what he had said. "Wait, I don't mean that. Well, yes I do, but you have a... or you had a date, so I can't..." 

"Moons, I hate to tell you... but the date was you. It was a stupid idea really. I didn't get your number and you wouldn't call me so I figured that I would swing by, give it a shot, and ask you on a date. I asked Lily Evans, you know her, history and english degree, dating James-"

"Best friends with both of us, yes." 

"She said that you would be at the library even if you weren't working. So I came by. Brought the book because I needed a reason to be here if I didn't ask you. I had it planned out, the whole day, but you're busy working so I'll just leave. Sorry, Moony." 

He hesitated for a moment. "Moony, huh? Moons, Moony... they're cute. I'll have to think of one for you." They reached the door. "Wait here for a moment." 

Remus ran into the staff room and signed his name off. The rest of the workers thought that he was just ill and hungover. He played into it.

Joining Sirius at the door, he smiled, dragging on his long, brown coat. "Lets go." 

"What?" 

"Lets go." He walked out of the door on Sirius' elbow. 

"Alright, Moons." 

***

"You're dating Sirius fucking Black?" Peter dropped his jaw. 

"Is it really that hard to believe, Pete?" Remus looked up from the essay he was writing. It was a relief whenever Peter started talking. It gave him a reminder to take a work break. 

"No, I just didn't expect to come home to see my nerdy, reserved, shy roommate, who swore he would never fall in love with anybody yet, shirtless, making out violently with an almost naked Black." Peter rummaged through his backpack and brought out a notebook. "It's slightly jarring, to be honest." 

"It wasn't that bad." 

"Remus, it really was. You didn't even have his clothes off and he'd practically melted into your hand. You'd think you fucked somebody every night." He was laughing, though he looked a bit shaken. 

"You probably aren't much better with your girlfriend." 

"Jesus Remus, no you've got a fucking beast inside of you. Anyways, how is he? Not messing with you too much is he?" He was tapping a pencil against his notepad. 

"He's lovely. Perfect. I mean, he isn't perfect. He's a dumbass and he sort of cruises through life as if nothings wrong, to a fault almost, and he constantly wants attention but its okay because I'm a smartass, I freak out about everything and I always want to give him attention, so we sort of even each other out." His voice was dripping with sweetness. It was like honey. 

"You sound like you really like him, Remus." 

"I do... I love him." 

***

"Remus 'Moony' Lupin-" 

"That's not my middle name."

"Shh, stop ruining it." The room laughed. They were all together, gathered because Sirius wanted to say 'something important'. Lily and James sat together, Peter sat by them, familiar with Lily but slightly intimidated by James. Marelene, Lily's best friend, sat by Peter, trying to make a conversation. 

"Okay, okay. I'll let you have your moment." 

"Remus 'Moons' Lupin, will you make me the happiest man in the whole world," He got down on one knee and pulled out a small box, "And be my husband?" 

"Oh my god. Yes, yes!" Sirius stood up and slipped the ring onto Remus' finger. "Hey, you stole my thing!"

"What?" Sirius pulled away from the hug that they were holding.

"I was going to buy you a ring and propose to you next week, but you beat me to it!" The rest of the room had surrounded them, all hugging and clapping. 

"You're a dumbass. I love you so fucking much."

Remus kissed him on the forehead twenty times over. "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favourite au's and I really want to write a longer version some day- this was just the basics of how I personally picture this au. 
> 
> Also, you can probably tell that I know nothing about higher education, and |I had no internet access on this holiday so all I had were my very confused parents and my younger brother (who knows less than me, I reckon) to ask about this stuff.


	9. Sirius' Pre-Moon Concerns.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday 2nd August
> 
> ((Prompt: vhsmeme on tumblr)) 
> 
> Canon storyline: nearing-full moon Remus.

"You okay in there?"   
"Yes, love, I'm just peeing." 

***

"Did you get any sleep last night?"   
"Yes, Pads, it was fine." 

***

"You have a fever."   
"I'll be okay- the full does that sometimes."

***

"Back to bed."   
"You can't boss me around. I'm fine." 

***

"I think you're coming down with something? It's close to the full too."   
"I'll be okay." 

***

"Did you throw up in there?"   
"Breakfast wouldn't settle." 

***

"Do you want more blankets?"   
"I... yes, please. I'm fucking freezing." 

***

"You're really pale."   
"You can't say much. I'm just dizzy." 

***

"I'll take care of you."   
"I'd love that."

***

"I think it's time for bed, love."   
"One more chapter?" 

*** 

"You sound awful."   
"I feel awful."

***

"It was just a dream, Moons."   
"I thought I'd done something terrible, Pads." 

***

"Can you hear me?"   
"Yes, yes. I'm alright." 

***

"Woah, don't pass out on me."   
"Hold me and I'll be okay." 

***

"Is it too hot?"   
"We could open a window?" 

***

"Is it too cold?"   
"I think the seven blankets are working okay." 

*** 

"Please take the medicine."   
"Ugh, Pads, it tastes so bad."

*** 

"I'll read to you, would you like that?"   
"Very much so, love." 

*** 

"You've been like this for how long?"   
"Only a few days now. It'll be over soon."

***

"Take these."   
"Tissues and chocolates?" 

***

"You've been stretching a lot. Are you okay?"   
"My joints are aching. I'll go to Madame Pomfrey soon." 

*** 

"What are you doing? Go back to bed."  
"I'm just getting some water, Sirius, I'm fine." 

***

"You look like shit, Moons."   
"Jee, thanks, you prat."

***

"You act like you're one big germ. You're not contagious."   
"I sure as hell feel it."


	10. Yet another example of the marauders using their intelligence for the oddest reasons. This time it's Sirius' turn.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday 2nd August
> 
> Follows canon time line. 
> 
> ((prompt:somebody on tumblr made the idea !! I only take credit for the writing the idea was very inspired- my laptop cut of their @))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun drinking game !!  
> Take a shot everytime I write 'hair' or 'shock'

"Love?" Remus dumped his bag on the floor next to his bed. 

"Yeah, Moons?" Sirius, who was leaning against his own bedpost, sat down on his boyfriends bed, and beamed up at him. "Good day?" 

"Yes, it was alright. But I wanted to talk to you about something. Lily Evans has just informed me that her friend got a rather unexpected electric shock at breakfast today..." Remus sat by him.

"I didn't shock anybody, Remus." Sirius held up his hands in accusation.

"No, no. It was more unusual than that." He was trying to fit the pieces together in his head. 

"Why?" 

"It seemed to come from you. Not from your wand. From you." Lily had reported it coming from his person, in fact, she could have swore that James was teasingly holding Sirius' wand high above his head at the time of the shock. 

"I didn't shock anybody!" He was being honest, somewhat. He hadn't shocked anybody intentionally. 

"Did you... Sirius, did you charm your hair?" There was a particular shimmer to it.

"Oh." 

"I'll take that as a yes then?" He almost laughed at this. Charming his hair? There was no point. 

"Moons, they won't stop touching it. The girls won't take their hands out of it. Maybe they're jelous or something but, even when I ask, they can't keep their fucking hands out of it." It was frustratingly annoying, having girls swooning over him and his hair. Unfortunately, batting their hands away and threatening them kindly didn't help at all. 

"Noted, I'll avoid your hair then." Remus lent over and reached inside of his bag. 

Sirius smiled. He was admittedly proud of his work. "I don't think that'll be necessary."

"What? You want me to be shocked or something?" He faked offence. 

"Moons, dearest, you really think I would be able to live without you playing with my hair?" He lent on his shoulder, allowing his hair to cascade down onto his chest. "Look." Taking Remus' hand in his own, he pushed his palm into his hair. 

"Merlin, you're so dramatic. How long has this charm been on your hair for?" He was soon absentmindedly playing with Sirius' hair. 

"Two weeks, give or take a few days." 

"You render me speechless, Pads." He wasn't particularly complaining. In fact, this made him deeply happy. 

"Well, I couldn't stop you from touching it, could I?" 

"Pre-moon brushing routine is still on then?" Before every full Remus would brush Sirius' hair. It was calming, he supposed. The first time he did it, the full was amazing. Well... not exactly 'amazing' but for lack of a better word it was better. They'd never stopped doing it. 

"Always." He kissed Remus on the cheek before putting his head back on his shoulder.

"That's why James practically jumped out of his skin when he brushed his hand over your hair a few days ago?" James, attempting to be helpful, offered to fix Sirius' lob-sided collar, and had received something he described as 'The Black Curse'. The joke was that nobody corrects them, but now it seemed obvious that he'd just been shocked. 

"Yes, he was impressed after the initial shock. Though it was a bit of a scare finding out that only you can touch it now." Sirius laughed a bit at this memory. 

"You told him?" 

"Ah, yes, Moons. To his great shock, actually. He was fine with it, don't worry. It was just a 'you kissed Moony?' sort of reaction." They weren't at all surprised that James was more offended that they'd never told him than the fact that they were gay and dating. 

"What did you tell him?" 

"I told him that you love my hair and-" Sirius began.

Remus cut him off. "Hey, wait. I've never said that." He was, in fact, correct. He'd never actually admitted that he loved Sirius' hair. 

"Moons, you're not exactly subtle. You run your hands through my hair everytime we kiss, you push it around when you work and you brush mine more than you brush yours. You literally told me which shampoo you liked best a few days ago. It's adorable."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for my work on holiday. 
> 
> I'm honestly not sure if I'll ever post again, because I sort of did this on impulse, which is very out of character for me. Plus all of my other pieces are so long and barely close to finished, so unless I write more one shots or random pieces my account will lay dead for a while. 
> 
> This is probably goodbye. I sort of posted the first chapter on a spur of the moment decision. I wasn't expecting anybody to see it, nor like it. I'm glad for the people who did. And if you're reading this right now, thank you. Thank you for reading the mediocre fanfiction that I wrote during a week with a rollercoaster of emotions. I wish you nothing but the best :)) 
> 
> If you ever want to find me else where for I don't know what reason, here are my other social media tags: 
> 
> INSTAGRAM: @unslatedtoast or @hufflepuff.editing  
> TWITTER: @unsaltdtoast  
> TIKTOK: @unsaltedtoast  
> TUMBLR: @unsaltedtoast 
> 
> We can chat about wolfstar or Harry Potter or whatever you like really, all my accounts are public. 
> 
> :))


End file.
